Completely Nutso?

I might be. While watching CSI Miami this week - a first, I flipped over only because I read 'wedding' in the description - I came to the conclusion that I was most definitely teetering on the brink of pre-wedding-planning induced insanity. Why? When the bride was unfortunately and mistakenly shot in the head and killed at the altar, my immediate thought was not

"gasp! How unfortunate for her to be mistakenly killed because her fake cz studded veil triggered the remote-controlled gun on the limo!"

but

"good, she deserves it - that ribbon-edge shortie veil totally does not go with her slinky crepe gown"


WHO AM I??

My newest wedding brainstorm/brain pain is probably enough to commit me.

....I am going to learn calligraphy, and hand write all of my invitations!


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NAME OF IN-PATIENT: Miss Shortcake
DATE COMMITTED: March 26th, 2008
WITNESS SIGNATURE: ________________

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Go ahead, sign. You know you want to.

"Agnes, did you SEE what the groomsmen were WEARING?"

Bogart.







Bond.





Beefcake.












A classic formal wardrobe staple of the 1950s was the white dinner jacket - a look divinely dashing, conjuring up images of shaken (not stirred) martinis, breezeless tropical nights scented with cigars, and steamy kisses stolen away from the crowd on patios, in gardens....





...and at my wedding?






We love, love, LOVE the look of white dinner jackets with black bowties, cummberbunds, and trousers for Mr. Beefcake and the groomsmen- it will look smashing with the pink "New Look" style bridesmaid dresses, and it's SO debonair:






from style me pretty






from style me pretty




from wedding chicks

Unfortunately, it's also a seasonal look, best suited (pun intended) for warmer climes and times:

Foremost, keep it in its season or its place. The white jacket is meant to
look and be cool in hot weather. The rules aren't as strict as Memorial Day to
Labor Day anymore, but certainly not before May and not after September—unless,
of course, you're in the tropics or in the southern hemisphere. Martin Nicholls,
Alfred Dunhill's bespoke tailor and award winner for suiting Oscar-going stars
(see Made for You, page 240), even suggests it looks best in the casbah, at the
country club, along the shore or on a cruise—anywhere but the city.

~ Cigar
Aficionado

The Alternative:
Black tux and bow tie



What do you think? Would it be inappropriate for my groom and his frat pack to sport white dinner jackets in early October, or is the look just too swell to pass up?

CASTLE BRIDE - Boo-tee-ful birdcage veils

I've already decided that a drop-veil is the type of veil for me -despite, as Mr. Beefcake noted, its tendency to make brides look 'ghoulish' and 'other worldly.' Actually, I believe the actual observation was "you'll look like a ghost" - but all I have to say to that is

"WOOOOOOO--OOOOOOOOOOOO"
*rattles chains*

:D

If I wasn't so deadset on looking like a corpse bride, however, and had a shorter dress, I would most definitely be wearing and rocking a birdcage veil.

Like these by Castle Bride, now an advertiser on weddingbee, but previously a saved favorite:

Brooke

Samantha

Chloe

Michelle

Britney

Marina

Kiera

"Picky, picky, picky" OR "Why I Heart My Floral Designer"

I am a detailed bride. I am a planning-a-holic. When you're a bride that treads a fine line between picky and neurotic, it helps to have creative and understanding vendors on your side. :)Luckily for me, I have been blessed with such talented and patient professionals - people who have received countless emails clarifying what I do and do not want on the wedding day, and respond promptly and professionally.

For example, an exerpt from one of my emails to my lovely floral designer:

Dear Ms. Meade

....I am impressed and very excited to work together! Let me tell you my "vision" as a starting point to our planning

My wedding is an black tie formal evening wedding on October ? 2008.

• I'm having a 1950s- inspired vintage wedding
• I'm wearing an ivory satin ballgown with a cathedral train
  
• The bridesmaids will be wearing knee-length "(Dior's) New Look" silhouette pale pink dresses with silver pumps, pearl necklaces, pearldrop earrings, and updos (possibly with little hats and birdcage veils).
  
• The groom and groomsmen will be wearing ivory dinner jackets, black pants and shoes, and black bowties.
  
• The colours are: pastels (pink, robin's egg blue, buttercream yellow, ivory), splashes of hot pink, silver, gold, and crystal/sparkle
  
• Motif: peonies, hearts, birds ("birds of a feather flock together")
  
• Keywords: " dollhouse wedding,"Swelegant" (ie. swell + elegant), "whimsical" "charming" " "tooth-achingly sweet-like-a-pastry"
  
• My tablecloths will be champagne pintuck satin, the chairs will be white with champagne silk sashes. This colour combination is very subdued, so as to provide a backdrop to the centerpieces instead of competing with them. It will also look fabulous by candelight.

This is from an introductory email - 14 months before the wedding date, and less than a week after my engagement. :p
I am still surprised (and grateful) that she didn't run away screaming "Bridezilla!" But no, my floral designer Larissa is a woman of great talent, and great courage.


Did I mention talent? I completely heart Larissa Meade of Bridal Beginnings.

Not only has she been willing to discuss, accomodate, and improve upon my floral vision, she has also made ingenius suggestions for improvisation.
Exhibit B: PEONIES IN THE FALL









Besides cheese, pasta, baked goods, and Mr. Beefcake, my true love is the peony flower. Unfortunately for anyone getting married in summer, fall, or winter, peonies can be hard, if not impossible, to find out of season. My hopes were raised by Larissa's mention of Chilean growers shipping a second batch of those petal-ed beauties in November every year, but were quickly dashed when she noted that



1) your date is very early for their season, they usually don't start shipping till end of October - would not know till 2 weeks out, as it really depends on the soil condition, weather, etc etc etc.
2) due to your date, they would be shipped much smaller and tighter -no guarantees on condition and whether they will open

3) you need to order a minimum of a 100 stem case

4) the price per stem is OUTRAGEOUS - $8-9.50 per stem (so like$1000), and you have to buy the entire case, regardless of thecondition etc that they arrive in. It's not a case of "oh, they don't look good, they're too small, they're too tight, i don't want them"


Hopes were dashed, pre-menstrual tears were threatening to spill, but then she noted that we could "consider ...Lisianthus [and use] different size roses (full import roses, local roses,mini spray roses).... to create different textures.....for a touch of green, we can use bells of ireland, hypercium berries"



(lisianthus)


Hooray! And here was the clincher:
(seriously, suggest this to your florist if your wedding date precludes peonies)






3-4 carnations (the bouquet in her left hand) can be grouped tightly together to give a soft, full, fluffly peony effect! Brilliant!




The negotiations continued, with my mondo-huge list of likes and dislikes - accompanied by diagrams, nach.







LIKES: pink, creamy whites (not yellow whites) buttercream yellows, pale, soft greenstextureinteresting cuffs and details (feathers, etc, I'll design)(besides cuff of greenery - but not banana leaf for mine)wide double faced satin ribbon with monogram keywords: "soft' "fluffy" "whimsical" "big" "pink" "sparkly"structurecompletely covered stem ends (raw ends MAYBE for BM bouquets, but Iwant mine covered, esp for dress safety) round, but not perfectly symmetrical in terms of bouquet contents (ie,not too perfect)

Is that even English? Yeesh. I scare myself.
We hashed out the details, jpgs were exchanged




And we came to an agreement (cue Handel's Messiah chorus)!

My bridal bouquet will be a mixture of the following three bouquets:



(but no banana leaf)

and my personal favorite:




With a bouquet wrap similar to this, that I will provide:





Larissa quickly and correctly deduced that my "centerpieces are also really important... so we want them to be a WOW feature" and made some super smart suggestions that may apply to any bees out there with tented weddings:

A) tented wedding = no tapered candles ...they will blow out!
B) using only tall centerpieces can be overpowering because they visually compete with support crosswires


Our centerpieces will thus be a mix of short and tall, with the short centerpieces mixing light and blossoms, but relying more heavily on candles (votives, candelabras, etc) and interesting containers for visual "oomph"






and our tall centerpieces will be responsible for bringing in the "WOW" factor. These will combine tall fluted clear vases with large floral arrangements in the same shades as my bouquet (pinks, whites, buttercream yellow, and soft greens), crystal strands (dripping from the flowers, or suspended within the vase), and lots and lots of candles.








Now that the details are done, I can sit back and drool at how perfectly pink and frothy and feminine our wedding decor will be - cough - I mean, gender neutral and elegant (trust me Mr Beefcake, letting me choose pink as a wedding colour was a good idea ;))...

Attacking the Bat: Getting Rid of Your Wings!

Despite his love for me, that lovely, awe-inspiring devotion (ladies, he takes me to and from work everyday, AND makes me breakfast, lunch and dinner...I know), I do realize that some of my habits drive Mr. Beefcake clinically "bonkers."

Specifically, what I eat (or forget to eat), and what I do with my precious spare time (read, write, create, cuddle with the dog, NOT exercise.) As you may recall, Mr. Beefcake received his Bachelor's degree, and is now completing a Master's degree in ...ummm...nutritional...bio-chemistry(? sorry honey :) ) and is a certified personal trainer. He lives on a carefully balanced diet of green crunchy things, organic this and that, a coop's worth of egg's per week, protein shakes, a cupboard full of vitamins and supplements, and exercises somewhat fanatically (in my humble opinion). The man can leg press almost 800 pounds now - it's getting ridiculous.



So, despite his protestations, I am convinced Mr. Beefcake thinks I'm fat. Not truly, but I'm pretty sure that deep down, he's disappointed when I eat three bowls of ice cream while watching a movie, then turn down a walk with him because I'm suddenly "so tired" (when it's less than -30C out, trust me, the thought of going outside is inconceivable).


I know I'm a bad girl. But, bad girls can change, and looking good in a wedding gown is pretty good motivation. Mr. Beefcake has created a workout program for me, which I'm going to try my best to stick to, especially as our planning nears the six-month mark. Like many women, I get bored easily with exercise, so Mr. Beefcake has recommended switching up my cardio between ballroom dancing, walking, and using my (new!) stationary bicycle. For stretching, I'm going to continue doing yoga (I'm from Vancouver - yoga is my thing), and Mr. Beefcake will design my weight training routine.

I'll be sharing my routine with you all, so please feel free to draw inspiration and tips as you see fit (and excuse the pun). As with any course of exercise, always consult your physician before starting, and never do any exercise that causes you pain, makes you dizzy or feel faint.


**********************************************************

All right ladies and gentle-bees, let's get started on this week's topic - how to rid yourself of your bat wing/bra strap "fat"!

BAT WING: the part of your upper arm that continues to wave five minutes after you've stopped

BRA STRAP CHUB: the escaped flesh around your brassiere that peaks out and creates a bumpy silhouette

(bat wings, the fur baby type)

First, I will reveal a secret, hidden for the ages, buried in the sands of time and beneath that pile of Bride magazines next to your bed:

THERE IS NO MAGIC EXERCISE TO MAGICALLY BURN OFF ALL OF YOUR FAT IN ONE SPECIFIC AREA!

Yes, it's true. There is NO SUCH THING AS SPOT REDUCTION.

Fat and muscle are two totally different tissues in your body and you simply cannot transform one into the other. Unfortunately, many people believe that doing crunches endlessly will give them those highly-coveted wash-board abs - it won't, they'll just end up with super strong abs covered by a nice layer of "chubbsies" (technical terminology, try to keep up:))

BUT, there is hope!


There are a couple of things that your body can do:

1) decrease fat
2) build muscle



**********************************************************

Now, let's break it down.

1) Decrease fat

How-to:

• efficient cardiovascular exercise


• healthy diet

2) Build muscle

Resistance (weight) training

healthy diet

You really need to have all three components in your fitness regimen, or the following occurs:

Option A:weight training (but no cardio or diet changes) = invisible muscles - they're there, but you can't see them!

OPTION B: cardio + diet changes (but no weight training) = "soggy noodle syndrome" - you're skinny and fat at the same time (as a soggy noodle myself, I recommend overcoming your aversion to weights otherwise you'll never be able to open the ketchup bottle by yourself)


OPTION C: diet changes (but no cardio or weight training) = elephant skin
Without cardio to burn fat, and weight training to build muscle, your skin will sag, your boobs will sag, and it is VERY difficult to regain that elasticity/put your skin tightly back on your frame


**********************************************************

MUSCLES TARGETED:

• deltoids (front and side)



• triceps



• rhomboids



• latisimus dorsi



• rear deltoids



• biceps



• triceps



• pectorals

**********************************************************

WORKOUT TIPS:

• Make sure to warm up thoroughly and stretch your muscles so they are ready for lifting.
• Keep rest to a minimum (to keep your heart rate up)
• Keep the reps (repetitions = how many times you do the exercise movement) in the 12-15 range, not too low and not too high. NOTE: If you can do 20+ reps the weight is not high enough and you probably aren't working hard enough.
• Stretch when you are done and perform some cardio if you have time (no more than 20 minutes). This combination will keep your heart rate up and will help you burn fat while retaining the most muscle (which will help you burn more energy while you rest!)

**********************************************************


MY BATWING WORKOUT:


(NOTE: This is by no means a comprehensive full-body workout program)

After a thorough warm-up (try jogging in place, light aerobics, yoga, dancing - anything to get your blood pumping) and stretch, incorporate the following upper body exercises into your full-body workout in order to "attack the bat"...

Shoulder press: 3 sets/12-15 reps

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.php?Name=Dumbbell+Shoulder+Press




Dumbbell Row: 3 sets/12-15 reps3


http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/cms/Article-detail.asp?Articleid=857&vote=4

Tricep kickbacks3 sets/12-15 reps

http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/cms/Article-detail.asp?Articleid=857&vote=4

Bicep curls (dumbbells or barbells) superset with:3 sets/12-15 reps

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.php?Name=Dumbbell+Bicep+Curl

AT THE GYM EXERCISES:

Chest Press superset with:3 sets/12-15 reps2

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.php?Name=Dumbbell+Bench+Press


Lat Pull-down superset with3 sets/12-15 reps

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.php?Name=Wide-Grip+Lat+Pulldown

*******************************************************************

So, there it is, ladies - suggested exercises for "attacking your bat." Please remember that there is no 'miracle cure' for spot reducing any trouble zone you may have. In order to see progress in one area, you will have to make changes to your body as a whole!

Be good to it, and your body will respond in time. And that means - no more

-na-na-na-na-na-na-na BATWINGS!

"Like a Sparkly Shroud of Turin" - The Veil Hunt

When I found my dress, my lovely and incomparable assistant Kelly at Stella's Bridal Galleria gave me the matching veil to try on. It was, to the best of my knowledge/veil identification skills, a mantilla style, fingertip-length veil with scalloped edges and an intricate pattern of glass beads and Swavorski crystals.

 

I thought it looked quite lovely with the gown, but it lacked a matching blusher, and attaching a plain blusher looked, honestly, quite ridiculous. I'm dead set on having some sort of blusher/face shrouding apparatus, as I am completely and hopelessly in love with the idea of being "unveiled."

 

 (For example, check out kayrose's blusher - pure romance. THIS is what bridal dreams are made of!)

 

But, the mantilla veil was sparkly, and as anyone close (or within a hundred feet of me) will attest, I have a not-so-secret obsession with things that bling. In addition, wearing a mantilla veil (traditionally spanish) would be a sweet nod to my mother's heritage.

 

However, such a nod would cost $560 dollars. OUCH. Luckily for me, the veil sold (to someone else) before I had a chance to make any foolhardy decisions based on emotion and not on account balances. I did a brief search on 'da internetz' and came up with a couple of alternatives for waist-length, sparkly, scalloped-edge veils:

 

 

{image source 1, 2)

Then I saw how breathtaking a drop veil could look and was smitten:

 

 

(Knottie srpro)

I searched again, and found a drop veil with Swavorski crystals:

 

 {image source}

...and then I read this helpful thread on the boards. As some brilliant ladies suggested, you can have a mantilla veil and a blusher too! If you pull forward the front of the mantilla veil, and secure it so that it hangs over your face, it will look like a drop veil, and behave like a blusher.

Good idea? Grace Kelly thought so!

 

And so did Katharine McPhee from American Idol:

(pulled back for the big kiss)

 

 

NEED A REFRESHER COURSE IN VEIL 101? TRY:

The Knot Veil Bio

The Flirty Bride Veil FAQ

Mrs. Ladybug's Veil Guide

Caring for your veil by Mrs Lime

If you have a vintage style dress, make sure to check out these resources:

 

Brideshead Revisited: Vintage veils

Etsy: Vintage veils

Leah Couture Millnery

Bonbon Oiseau Millnery

Kasia Fink Birdcage Veils