our honeymoon hotel: a "whale" of a good time!

 

 

So, we're going to Hawaii for our two week-long honeymoon. We were lucky to score a great deal by booking almost a year early, and we'll be able to stay at a really nice hotel on Waikiki beach. One of  Hawaii's Outrigger hotels, The Wyland Waiki is named after and designed by the environmental artist, Wyland.

 

You may have seen his work in your own city, in the form of huge "whaling walls" - murals of undersea life painted to raise awareness of ocean conservation.

The hotel and grounds are easily the nicest place either of us have ever vacationed at (easy, because our travelling together has heretofor consisted of backpacking through Europe and staying in tents and hostels!). See for yourself:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aloha, indeed!

Bodyboarding, `O `oe nō ka`u ipo aloha (You are my Beloved Sweetheart)

I am so excited for these:

board rashes: friction burns/cuts caused by jumping/sliding on to/up your board. Most often on hands, tummy, and thighs. Hurts like a mo-fo. Known to weep and bleed over your regular clothes and make you swear like a sea-farin drunkard.

even-aloe-vera-can't-save-you-now: extreme sun burns on strange parts of your body not covered by you rash guard/board shorts. Known to flake off at inopportune moments and necessitate strange sleeping positions.

coral cuts: cuts and lesions caused by falling off of your board and being raked along the coral. Prone to infection because of constant salt-water exposure. Prone to leaving braggable scars. (For the non squeemish, killer coral cuts.)

See also: 'sand facial'

So, why, in any-deity's-name am I so excited about getting hurt? Because it's FUN! Those pictures were taken on my sister's and I's last trip to Oahu, where we spent almost five whole days of our trip in the ocean, "catching waves" with a local on our body-boards. What is body-boarding, you ask?

Body-boarding (BB) uses a smaller board than surfing "longboards," and accordingly, the way you catch and ride a wave is different. BB is done mostly supine, though advanced and expert boarders will be seen riding their boards on their knees, on their hands, and doing all sorts of amazing arial manoeuvers (think skate boarding).

shooting the curl. Sister shortcake did this, and I nearly peed my boardshorts with envy!

Because you don't have a ginormously long board to support you and help propel you through the water, body boarders wear fins to motor them out to where the waves are breaking. This is the single most important tip for a beginner: WEAR FINS. You will get nowhere without them, literally! Another tip, wear the dorkiest thickest socks you have with your fins. This will help prevent blisters, and help you to take the flippers off when you're done.

Sister and Miss Shortcake

MORE TIPS:

• Find a local surfing god, and make friends - FAST. This is where flirting comes in, ladies. Sister Shortcake and I met a local "Big Kahuna" at a cafe where he was working as a waiter, and the very next morning we were working the dawn patrol with him on waiki beach! You seriously will learn nothing by watching other boarders - you need the one-on-one feedback and know-how that only an expert can provide.


• Wear a rash guard - they don't just make you look cool.


• Sex-wax-up your board, or you will never stay on.


• Invest in a good board, and one that's appropriate to your height.


• Stay out of the way of long-board surfers. They ride the waves that are farther out, body-boarders ride more inland waves as they break. If you cross paths - GET OUT OF THE WAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN! They will run you over, and you will get coral scars all over your body from being dragged beneath them. (again, if you're brave)


• Wear waterproof sunscreen, and apply hourly.

• practice, practice, practice. It take TIME to learn how to assess swell, time yourself, and catch waves - nevermind stay on them!


• Once you're on a wave, keep those legs tight together, keep one arm on your board, and use the other to swim as FAST as you can. If you do this properly, the wave will literally 'catch' you and your board (it feels like a water hug) and shoot you down all the way to the beach with it. If you get really good, that wave will take you UP the beach as well - it only happened once to me, but I ended up, on my board, on somebody's picnic towel, making the rock out signs with my hands. And they applauded. Highlight of my life, I think so! :)

• Oh, and avoid rocks. :)

So we're going to Oahu for two weeks on our honeymoon, and we're going to spend the entire time body-boarding !

....well, maybe not the entire time...

...we also want to learn how to surf! ;)

Where In the World is Shortcake Sandiego? (a honeymoon guessing game)

 

*Hit it, Rockapella!*

 

 

Well she's gone around the world

and you've done your best to find her

You've tracked her tracks in London

all the way to ancient Greece

You've solved a lot of clues

to put in your wedding binder

 

but tell me, WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SHORTCAKE SANDIEGO?

 

 

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2008

ATTN: LITTLE HAUS READER

RG: MISSING BEE MUST BE CAPTURED

 

GUMSHOES STOP THIS IS OUR LAST CHANCE TO CATCH HER STOP SHORTCAKE LAST SEEN ON GREEK SUPERFAST FERRY STOP NEED TO SOLVE CLUES STOP MUST ALSO SOLVE WEDDING RIDDLE STOP DISCOVER WHERE SHORTCAKE WILL BE HONEYMOONING STOP DON'T LET YOUR TEAM DOWN STOP IT'S UP TO YOU!

 

A) IF HORTICULTURE IS YOUR THING, CHECK OUT THE SPECIES AT A NEARBY _______

 

 

 

B) HERE YOUR TAN YOU MUST CULTIVATE IF YOU DON'T WISH TO BECOME SHARK ______

 

 

C) FOR A BOARDWALK STROLL YOU WON'T RUE - AH, COME ON DOWN TO ____________

 

 

D) IF YOU WANT TO SURF THE WAVES WITH THE GRACE OF A TUNA, MAKE FRIENDS WITH A BIG________

 

  

D) YOU WON'T HAVE TO DRIVE VERY FAR TO KISS ON THE BEACH LIKE _______ AND _______

 

 

E) KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FINGER LICKIN'? PINEAPPLE AND SIDEWALK __________

 

 

 F) TO PUT AN ENORMOUS SMILE ON YOUR FACE, HONEYMOON IN ________, THE "GATHERING PLACE"

 

 

ATTN: LITTLE HAUS READER
RG: FINAL ASSIGNMENT

GUMSHOES STOP THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORK STOP STILL ONE QUEST LEFT STOP WE MUST SOLVE A RIDDLE STOP WHICH OF THE THREE PLACES ARE THE SHORTCAKES RETURNING TO STOP MUST END THIS HONEYMOON MADNESS STOP IT'S UP TO YOU!

 

 

Where In the World is Shortcake Sandiego? FINAL QUEST

*Hit it, Rockapella!*





Well she's gone around the world

and you've done your best to find her

You've tracked her tracks in London

all the way to ancient Greece

You've solved a lot of clues

to put in your wedding binder



but tell me, WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SHORTCAKE SANDIEGO?

*************************************************

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2008

ATTN: WEDDINGBEE READER

RG: MISSING BEE MUST BE CAPTURED

GUMSHOES STOP THIS IS OUR LAST CHANCE TO CATCH HER STOP SHORTCAKE LAST SEEN ON GREEK SUPERFAST FERRY STOP NEED TO SOLVE CLUES STOP MUST ALSO SOLVE WEDDING RIDDLE STOP DISCOVER WHERE SHORTCAKE WILL BE HONEYMOONING STOP DON'T LET YOUR TEAM DOWN STOP IT'S UP TO YOU!

*******************************************************************************

A) IF HORTICULTURE IS YOUR THING, CHECK OUT THE SPECIES AT A NEARBY _______

B) HERE YOUR TAN YOU MUST CULTIVATE IF YOU DON'T WISH TO BECOME SHARK ______






C) FOR A BOARDWALK STROLL YOU WON'T RUE - AH, COME ON DOWN TO ____________












D) IF YOU WANT TO SURF THE WAVES WITH THE GRACE OF A TUNA, MAKE FRIENDS WITH A BIG________














D) YOU WON'T HAVE TO DRIVE VERY FAR TO KISS ON THE BEACH LIKE _______ AND _______















E) KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FINGER LICKIN'? PINEAPPLE AND SIDEWALK __________













F) TO PUT AN ENORMOUS SMILE ON YOUR FACE, HONEYMOON IN ________, THE "GATHERING PLACE"









*******************************************************************************
ATTN: WEDDINGBEE READER
RG: FINAL ASSIGNMENT





GUMSHOES STOP THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORK STOP STILL ONE QUEST LEFT STOP WE MUST SOLVE A RIDDLE STOP WHICH OF THE THREE PLACES ARE THE SHORTCAKES RETURNING TO STOP MUST END THIS HONEYMOON MADNESS STOP IT'S UP TO YOU!






***************************************************************

Where In the World is Shortcake Sandiego? Quest No. 2.

*******************************************
JANUARY 2008
ATTN: LITTLE HAUS READER
RG: MISSING BEE FOUND ESCAPES AGAIN

GUMSHOES STOP WE NEED YOUR HELP STOP SOURCES SAY STOP SHORTCAKE GONE STOP MUST LEAVE LONDON AND CATCH HER STOP LEFT CLUES STOP YOU KNOW THE DRILL STOP WE'RE COUNTING ON YOU STOP

********************************************************




a)IF DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY YOU DON'T OPPOSE, TAKE A FERRY TO _____________



b) IF YOU'VE EATEN TOO MANY _____ GO FIND A WINDMILL AND THEN PUT YOUR FEET UP




c) IF KISSING BY SUNSET IS A GREAT IDEA, TAKE A BOAT AND DONKEY TO VISIT ______



d) JUMP OFF A SHIP IN YOUR BIKINI WHEN YOU VISIT THE HOT SPRINGS NEAR _________






e) VERY SOON A LOCAL YOU'LL BE -A, WHEN YOU VISIT THE TINY ________


f) IF YOUR NEWLYWED LIBIDO JUST WON'T CEASE, TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS AND VISIT THE ISLANDS OF_______
(rhyme by Mr Shortcake)



********************************************************
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SHORTCAKE SANDIEGO?

Where In the World is Shortcake Sandiego? (a honeymoon guessing game)

JANUARY 2008
ATTN: LITTLE HAUS READER
RG: MISSING SHORTCAKE FOUND ESCAPES AGAIN

GUMSHOES STOP WE NEED YOUR HELP STOP SOURCES SAY STOP SHORTCAKE GONE STOP MUST LEAVE LONDON AND CATCH HER STOP LEFT CLUES STOP YOU KNOW THE DRILL STOP WE'RE COUNTING ON YOU STOP

 

a) IF DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY YOU DON'T OPPOSE, TAKE A FERRY TO _____________

 

b) IF YOU'VE EATEN TOO MANY _____ GO FIND A WINDMILL AND THEN PUT YOUR FEET UP

 

c) IF KISSING BY SUNSET IS A GREAT IDEA, TAKE A BOAT AND DONKEY TO VISIT ______

d) JUMP OFF A SHIP IN YOUR BIKINI WHEN YOU VISIT THE HOT SPRINGS NEAR _________

 

e) VERY SOON A LOCAL YOU'LL BE -A, WHEN YOU VISIT THE TINY ________

f) IF YOUR NEWLYWED LIBIDO JUST WON'T CEASE, TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS AND VISIT THE ISLANDS OF_______!

(rhyme by Mr Shortcake)